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Fuck you, Ebay. Fuck you.

So I recently signed up for a new ebay account, in order to get rid of a ton of stuff I have laying around that I no longer need. I had an ebay account long ago, but have long since deleted it, due to their increasingly heinous treatment of their members even back then.

Oh, what a web they have woven while I was away. Let us count the ways in which you totally fucking suck, ebay.

1) THEY GET UNLIMITED ACCESS TO YOUR MONEY - When you attempt to list an item on ebay, they FORCE you to allow them unlimited access to either your Paypal account, a credit card, or your bank account. This means they are allowed to take money from this source whenever they want, without your approval. You cannot list an item until you have given them this access. You can elect to remove this access by going to Paypal » Profile » Pay List (under Financial Information) » ebay (under merchants), and then hitting the “cancel” link next to “Status”. However, you will be required to re-attach access the next time you attempt to list an item.

2) THEY ARE THE STORE AND THE BANK / CONFLICT OF INTEREST / ANTITRUST - Ebay bought paypal, and now they are operating them as an extended arm of their empire. They are the store AND the bank. This is called a conflict of interest, and is illegal in the united states of america. Regardless of whether ebay owns paypal, they are both required to act as independent companies. They charge you to OFFER your item for sale, they charge you to again to actually SELL the item, then they charge you yet again to ACCEPT PAYMENT for the item. They are charging you on the way IN your ass, and they are charging to REMOVE themselves from your ass.

3) TRANSACTION FEES NOT JUST FOR CREDIT CARDS ANYMORE - Paypal used to only charge transaction fees if the buyer paid with a credit card. Now that Ebay owns them, they are charging transaction fees on ALL transactions, regardless of whether it was paid with a credit card or any other way. Only credit card payments cost them money. Payments from a bank account or your paypal balance do not cost them anything. But they are still charging you for it.

4) TRANSACTION FEES TAKEN FROM SHIPPING FEES - Ebay/Paypal charges a transaction fee on your SHIPPING FEES. Yes, that’s right. Not only do they charge a transaction fee on the amount that your item sold for, but they charge the fee on the SHIPPING FEE as well. As if the shipping service will give you a discount since ebay/paypal took your money. Now, you are stuck paying the difference in shipping OUT OF YOUR OWN POCKET. I raised this issue on the phone with a manager at paypal. His response was that he agrees with me that it is not right for them to do this, but that they don’t have a mechanism in place to differentiate between item payments and shipping payments, and that he would pass the issue along to those who can do something about it. I informed him that paypal DOES differentiate between item cost and shipping, as they display both separate amounts right in each item transaction’s description when you click through. He had no response to this.

5) ILLEGALLY ACTING AS AN ESCROW SERVICE (AGAINST YOUR WILL) - Ebay/Paypal are placing what they call “HOLDS” on the money that your buyers pay you. In other words, THEY arbitrarily decide to hold onto the money that your buyers pay you through paypal. They hold it for a minimum of 21 days, and expect you to ship your items to people before getting paid. They say that they will release your money to you AFTER the buyer receives it and decides if they’re satisfied with the product or not. Excuse me? What fucking store allows this? Tell me which store you can call on the phone, ask them to ship items to you, and then tell them that you’ll pay them AFTER receiving them, IF you decide you like the items.

What Ebay/Paypal is trying to do is pretend they’re an escrow service, which they are not. They do not have a license to act as one. You cannot be an auction site or pay service one day, then pretend you’re an escrow service the next. Even if they WERE an escrow service, escrow services are used AT THE WILL OF THE CUSTOMER. YOU decide to use an escrow service. A third party cannot just arbitrarily decide that they are going to hold onto your money that a customer just paid you. This is HIGHLY illegal.

I have spent literally HOURS on the phone (at least 6) trying to get them to release my money that they are holding illegally. The first time, they released them all after I informed them that what they were doing was illegal. But only after 2 initial hours on the phone, and a callback from a manager later on the same day. The second time, I spent 2 hours on the phone trying to tell them to just have the manager call me back to settle the issue. They refused and kept passing me on to others until I finally got someone who said they would have the manager call me back. That call never came.

6) SELLERS NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK TO BUYERS - Are you fucking serious? Yes, I am fucking serious. Ebay, in all of their infinite wisdom, have decided that the best thing they can do to keep people on their site is to NOT ALLOW YOU TO GIVE ASSHOLE BUYERS NEGATIVE FEEDBACK. They can do whatever the fuck they want now, and still boast a 100% positive feedback rating, thanks to the fact that you’re only allowed to click “positive” when giving feedback. Oh, and guess what? Those asshole buyers? THEY ARE ALLOWED TO GIVE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK TO THE SELLERS THAT THEY SCREW OVER. And there’s nothing you can do about it. This has resulted in buyers becoming extortionists. They are now using negative feedback as a weapon to point at sellers. Example: A friend of mine recently sold an expensive piece of musical equipment to a buyer who later posted negative feedback and demanded money from the seller in order to remove the negative feedback that they posted.

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